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A beautiful day created just for us The sun shines on my face Which lights up my way As I walk thinking of you I look up into a vast sky filled with possibilities Of how beautiful today could be If you were to walk beside me The wind blows my hair ever so softly across my bare shoulders Just as if you reached down and put it there And you tuck it behind my ear To move in closer And look me in the eyes I imagine you wrap your arms around me I loose my breath And think how could today be anymore perfect? I follow the path of the birds That soar circles as I pass them by with no choice but to keeping looking Wings that move them leave me wishing I could fly Right up to where you are today The warmth of a beautiful day Makes my heart beat ever so faster I walk further but it is still there It seems to last forever Burning the emptiness I feel right now Something so simple As a beautiful day Can bring me to tears So many days filled with rain Did you open the sky for just me today? On a beautiful day I want to let myself reach out against reason To live even for one moment to know you are still with me I see you in the sun that gives me hope We will one day spend days like this again I see you in the wind that drives me to believe It is blowing just on me A message from you Shines brighter than any beautiful day When I smile Know it is because I am thinking of you On this beautiful day created just for us Like so many before How lucky am I to have you To wait for me The one who knows I believe in him More than anyone else With every thought And reflection Making us inseparable Even on this beautiful day And without restraint The love that resides within my heart Knows no difference I will endure Anyday that creates a light that guides me to you In life and beyond How beautiful it is As I look up for a message from you You look down on me We remember together on this, A beautiful day created just for us. Tasya (2/18/07) A thousand miles have come between us But I still feel your love I feel the warmth of your breath on my neck And the softness of your skin. How I wish love could scale the highest reaches Of what separates us And float down from above My heart is broken and still Every day is like an eternity The eternity we vowed to share with each other The rivers would bring me to the calmness in your eyes For just one moment to sit and look into your heart Only the sound of your voice could put me at peace If only the stars would shower me with the sparkle of your smile Which I long for with every breath I hold in The rain would drench me with tears And you would kiss me as we embraced each other again The wind would carry your scent back to me The one you that still turns my head Only to find you are not there And I would always be here to give back all that I received Days seem endless when you’re not beside me Nights are lonely and oh so empty Only with you I know I will be fine Moments with you are frozen in time. If I love you too much, Don’t forgive me If every second I long for you too Don’t forgive me Always know that I also hurt too when we are apart . I always will and still do, Love you forever my sweet Prince. Happy Birthday Anthony. (1/25/07) Dearest Anthony, Tomorrow is the day I guess, for me at least. How did it come so fast? There is no way it feels like a year… Tomorrow a year ago we sat at a table and you said, “You know I love you right? I said yes. You said “You know I’m going to marry you right?” I said yes just starring into your beautiful eyes like I did everyday. But this was different. You seemed so at peace and so happy and wanted to remind me. Why I don’t know. You laid a big kiss on me in the middle of the bar. I told you I wrote our wedding vows and you said let’s go home so I can read it. You said goodbye to your friends, I paid my bar tab. We walked out front and you went to get on the bike. I told you to put your helmet on; you said “it’s not that far”. I was parked next to you and yelled out “I love you”. You said “I love you too”. Those are the last words we ever had. I know the 13th is when you left us, but tomorrow is the last time I had you. I still don’t know what to do without you. Watching you in a coma for seven hours made time stand still. Everyone else went home after the funeral, but I think I am still holding my breath. People have tried so hard to say the right thing or be of comfort and for that I am so grateful. Grief cripples you emotionally and physically. I hope they know I still need them, maybe more now, and that I appreciate every phone call even if I don’t sound very talkative. It hard to tell people you’ve been in denial because you didn’t even realize it. So I joined a widow support group. I don’t say much, but I read and that helps. All my life I always had something to say, maybe everyone thinks it’s a blessing now that I am quieter. I have slowly regained my sarcastic sense of humor though. I am trying to hold back the tears, but I just want to lie on the floor and scream. How could this happen? I miss you so much and I only feel worse. We were supposed to be married by now and living in Maine. We talked about camping and going sailing. Our family was going to come visit US for Christmas. Your Charger would have been restored by now and we would take it out for a drive so you could show it off. You would have spent the last year in the garage, working on any and all of the projects you had planned. I wouldn’t have yelled at you for being there, and I never did. I loved to watch you. I loved to open the door and tell you dinner was ready. I loved to come in behind you and throw away your dip cans. I loved that you woke up early every morning to cuddle with me and kiss me goodbye before you went to work, even if it was 5 a.m. I loved that you got mad when I went to work rather than working from home because I wasn’t there when you got home. I loved that you hated to go to the grocery store and how you would pout until we left. I loved that you went anyway. I loved how you talked to me at great lengths about restoring your Charger and the Chevy, when I had no idea what you were talking about. I loved that I listened because it made you happy, so it made me happy. I miss going to rent a movie and getting sushi to go. I have no one to leave the last piece for. Just you and I sitting talking by candlelight. I miss double feature day at the movies and hiding from security as we snuck into an “extra” movie. I miss our Sunday rides with friends. I miss our friends. I miss sitting with our “stepson” Kyle and watching Southpark. I miss all the silly things you did that anyone else would have yelled at you for, but I just laughed. Like when you went to the grocery store on base and came back with a $1000 kegerator two hours later (laying on top of it drunk with Kyle in the front yard mind you). I can still see that boyish smile on your face as I opened the door and gave you that look that could have only said “and what did you do?” I always thought of you as my big dreamer. Finally I met my match. We wanted a sailboat, so you hung a picture on the refrigerator. When we went to the bookstore to plan our wedding, you sat for hours with me on the floor. We decided on Italy and then we would take our family on a motorcycle trip through Europe. I was going to give you your wedding ring for Christmas, because you said you didn’t think it was fair I was the only one that got to wear an engagement ring. I gave it to you anyway and I read you those vows, the night before your funeral which was our two year anniversary. In my heart there will always be something missing. Somehow I know this wasn’t in the stars…it wasn’t your time and this is surely not how I am supposed to be…without you. So I guess tomorrow I will try to remember to forgive that person whose reckless driving took you from me and not hold ill wishes towards them because it won’t bring you back, I will try to remember that my love for you was and is real and have faith that you are safe and at peace where you are. I will try to have hope that I will see you again and I will try to find the strength and patience to wait for that day. Until then, it won’t hurt if you check in with me when you can. P.S. Your dog is mad at me, can you please tell him it’s not my fault. I let him sleep in the house every night which you didn’t let him do and I let him take a bath in my Jacuzzi tub. The cat is fine. He still wakes up every morning at 4:15 when your alarm used to go off. Can you please talk to him too and tell him to give me a break? All my love, Tasya (12/13/06) |
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Click here to see Anthony Leanard's Family Tree |
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Tributes and Condolences
| Bring the memories home by publishing your online memorial as a genuine hardcover keepsake |
| This memorial website was created by Tasya Tipton on 03/26/2006.
click here to contact Tasya |
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| The hosting of this website is sponsored by David Tipton | ||||||||||
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